You probably had to be there…

Mediation is a serious business! Indeed, no-one takes it more seriously than me. Yet, every serious endeavour has its moments of comedy, moments that bring a reflective smile to my face whilst travelling home. Over the Christmas break, I couldn’t help but look back at some such moments, like the time a sun-bed fanatic, with a distinctly orange hue, overheard someone on the other side refer to him as ‘Tango’. From accord to discord faster than one can say vitamin D! Or when a party mistook a question about humidors – a worthy attempt at rapport building by his counterpart – as a question about thermidors (as in the creamy lobster dish). Think the classic two Ronnies Mastermind sketch where the specialist subject was ‘Answering the question before last’.

Cultural and language differences often throw up some unexpected exchanges, like the overseas client, not surprisingly unfamiliar with English language colloquialisms, responding to a request to ‘talk turkey’ with the comment, ‘I agree we should talk, but I would rather talk about money’.

As with any serious process, preparation is essential and lack thereof is certainly no laughing matter ….except where a senior client representative, not as engaged as he should be when reading from a script pre-prepared by a junior, actually says out loud, ‘pause, this will be good, check on the reaction of Mr ……’. The faux pas was a surprise; the eruption of side-splitting laughter from the other side was not!  ​

Sometimes, it’s the snappy one liners between lawyers that create the most memorable moments, like the solicitor who, on suggesting to his opposite number that if he really was advising his client he had a good defence he would be acting negligently, was met with the response…..‘been negligent before, will be negligent again’. Not sure the client immediately appreciated the comedy, but all was forgiven by lunchtime.

But it’s not just one liners between lawyers that spring to mind. At a recent plenary session of a hastily organised mediation, a client on one side was openly critical of his opponent’s lawyer. The response from the opponent, combined with a withering glance at his own lawyer…‘well, he was the best I could find in the time available’.

And finally, a bit on technology. Nothing can ruin a crucial moment like a malfunction, as demonstrated a little while ago when a menacingly loud vibrating noise had us evacuating a plenary session in the belief that a swarm of Asian hornets (about which Defra gave much guidance in 2018), had found its way to Fleet Street. Turned out to be an electric toothbrush in someone’s overnight bag switching itself on!

Thanks for reading and all the very best for 2019!

Jon